My Friends VS Maximum Ride Characters
by Sadistic Bi-polar Lamas
Summary: Well, I wanted everyone to know how cool my friends were and that they could smack around all the MR characters. Random stuff. Not even trying, but let's just see how it turns out.
1. Claire VS Max

Okay well this is just why I think my friends would wipe the...sky?... no, no the ... anyway they would totally rule over the MR characters.

Line XD Boo...b Tee Hee.

One of the many reasons why Claire would kick Max's ass.

'HIYA!' Screamed Claire whilst simultaneously flailing gracefully and doing duck feet.

'NOOOOOO-!' Cried Max but was cut off because she was getting bitch slapped by one of Claire's flailing hands. She fell to the ground but jumped back up instantly because, yes, she's a bird-kid.

But she was no match for Claire and her epic ninja skillz (A/N yes I went there) so Claire summoned her man eating unicorn (A/N Because what self respecting teenager doesn't have one? Max, that's who) and charged forward before digging her heels into the unicorns stomach which caused it to vomit a sparkly rainbow all over Max.

She died.

And then was brought back to life because ;

1. This chapter would be too short

2. Claire didn't get to have that much fun

3. The evil scientists can't get the fact through their head that sometimes things should stay dead

4. I felt like it

5. I don't know who should verse Iggy next. (Angel-Laura Dylan-Tanvi Marrissa? Mel? Louise?)

6. I don't actually have a 6th reason I just like the number, especially when there's 3 of them *cue evil laugh*

'Oh no you didn't!' Cried Claire, because I made her. Suddenly Claire grabs a num-chuck out of thin air and throws it at Max because she doesn't know how to use it.

Even though Max could probably just take a step to the left and be missed entirely, because it was going in slow motion, she decided to do the Matrix's thingy because she felt like it.

'No. O. O. O. O. O. O – Oww! God Fnicking damn it! That hurt!' as you could tell she was not ninja enough to avoid it and got hit in the head.

Max tried to sit up but couldn't because Claire was standing over her victorious with a converse clad foot on her stomach, her hands on her hips, glairing into the sun set even though it was, like, 3:00pm 1 second ago, her cape that had just appeared randomly, flapping in the wind, the same as her hair which she had to turn her head awkwardly because the giant fan was too her side and he hair kept getting in her eyes.

Max could just stare in awe until the director said cut and Claire took her foot off of her.

Line. :O you wish you had this line.

Okay... I don't know where that came from, or, well, what the hell even happened, but I do know my Ninja friends rule.

_**Hey, oh, yeah review to say which one of my weirdo friends should fight Iggy; Marrissa? Mel? Louise? **_

_**The only reason this is bold is because I wanted you to read it.*smiley face* **_

_**Stupid fan fiction not taking my smiley faces.**_


	2. Mel VS Iggy

Yay second chapter to Friends VS MR!

Line!

This is why Mel beats Iggy.

'Hiya!' cried Mel because I'm starting all my chapters with that word. 'Go stoned otter!' (that's her pen name )

'Gasp!' Gasped Iggy. 'It's Ash!'

'I do not run around and every time I encounter a random wild animal or person force my slave- *ahem* pet's to do a battle till they're knocked unconscious! And then stuff them into balls that shrink!' Yep, that's Pokémon in a nut shell.

'I love you Misty!' screamed Iggy to the TV.

Mel looked around and realised that Iggy was ignoring her and making out with the TV... while that Brock dude was on screen. She sighed grabbed the remote that was on the coffee table and turned the TV off.

'I was watching that!' said Iggy glaring at the wall to the left of Mel.

'Little to the right.' She told Iggy.

'Oh, well ... 'kay thanks.'

'Your welcome.'

Iggy cleared his throat. 'Die you evil fiend!' and leapt at the gigantic stuffed teddy bear to Mel's right.

Mel cleared her throat. 'Hey Connie! Could you make him not blind, it's getting annoying.'

I looked at Iggy gnawing on the bear's foot and mumbling 'That's right, not so tough now are you.'

'Supercalafragalisticexpiala giveIggyhissightback.' Yeah, that's right, I know how to spell it. Be jealous.

'Om nom nom.' Went Iggy, munching on the teddy's ear.

Mel and I shared a look. It said _let's just leave the poor retarded kid._

And sleeping Beauty woke up, Bitch slapped the egotistical prince, grabbed an AK-47, managed to get a head shot on the Queen, slit Bambie's throat because she couldn't decide if it was a boy or a girl or other and went on to be ruler of the universe.

And lived happily ever after.

Wrong story.

'Hey Iggy.'

'Yeah?'

'What's that on your face?' asked Mel.

Iggy looked confused before twisting around and looking at the mirror. Nothing was on his face... he turned back around and opened his mouth to say so.

And then Mel punched him.

'_**IT WAS PAIN!**_' she screamed looking Fnicking crazy.

And that's why you don't give her creaming soda...

Line that works for Sleeping beauty

Review?

I'll give you virtual elephants... they dance.

And I'll give you a feral woodland creature if you can tell me what Bambie is!

Now who's VSing Gazzy? Marrissa? Louise?


	3. Marissa VS Gazzy

Yet another Friend VS MR chapter!

Yes, Line thinks you're a stalker Louise… and no… stairs are an awful place to hug… did you see that guy that glared at us! Soooo totally evil.

This is why Gazzy cowers away from Marissa.

'Hiya!' cried Gazzy because he was currently playing COD.

'Hey!' Screamed Marissa using her epic Telekinesis to rip the controller from Gazzy's hands burn said controller with her pyrokenetic abilities and teleport it to Mars. Why Mars? Because it's cool… not really but you get it… or do you...? Yeah, I think you do. 'Don't ignore me! I'm going to kick your-!'*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

We seem to have some technical difficulties… please wait patiently.

'uhhhhhh… I think I have to go now…'Gazzy said edging slowly away from Marissa who turned in to the hulk using her Omnitrix.

'Wait! I was joking, I wasn't really going to involve the rabid lamas.'

'What about the Mutant pineapples?'

'Okay, how about you can go and I call you and we can do this again when I think of a good lie.'

'MAX!' Gazzy screamed sprinting out of the jumping castle that they were apparently in…?

'What? I don't really control the Ninjas, no one controls the Ninjas…' Marissa explained to the shocked stares of an elderly couple.

And then Gazzy ran around a corner that magically appeared because I am the master of corners. 'Max! Marissa's pet mushroom will devour me in my sleep!' and then he fainted because he couldn't handle the awesomeness of _**THE**_ Marissa.

'OH! Can I narrate? I promise no shampoo bottles will get hurt!' Asked Marissa.

'Knock yourself out.' Said Zeus giving her Harry Potter's wand.

Marissa then laughed evilly whilst pirouetting around giant sombreros. Gazzy woke up to find the scene in front of him and then proceeded to faint (girlishly) again.

Marissa spent the rest of this chapter laughing, only taking breaks to say 'poke' and poke Gazzy on his tummy… teehee, tummy… and also waving a fist at the elderly couple and saying 'get off me lawn ya young whhhhipersnappers!'

'Wait! You said I could narrate!' cried Marissa standing up from a yoga type position.

'Ummm… well I guess it couldn't hurt.' I said edging behind a riot shield and 40 armed slaves that are my human shield…

'And then Gazzy woke up and punched himself in the face while screaming "Barbra Streisand!" really loud.' Narrated Marissa.

Gazzy jumped up started screaming 'Barbra Steisand' and punching himself.

'Now sing the hedgehog song!' Marissa said excitedly clapping her hands and jumping 4 meters in the air.

(A/N: I would put the words her but I'm lazy so basically it's about a hedgehog that dies and I think it kills someone else as well… evil little basterd…)

When Gazzy finished a meteorite crashed in to the earth because Marissa got bored…

THE END

Line that will find you Wally, no matter what

SOOOOOOOOO! Soz bout the wait even though you probably don't care… anywho, check out this dude called _Deamon Eyes_, pretty cool and also who will beat the poopy out of Nudge? Actually never mind Louise will because Laura is VS Angel and Tanvi is VS Dylan… asshole… didn't need another bid-freaking-kid… *depression*…


	4. Louise VS Nudge

This is another weird chapter. Happy Father's Day Louise!

Awkward Silence…

Line that likes to take long walks on the beach at sunset

This is why Louise will totally destroy Nudge.

'Hiyaaaaa!' Screamed Louise because she's a secret Ninja, and we all know that Ninjas like screaming Hiya at people… when you can hear them…

That's right, I went there.

'Oh My God! What's wrong with you!' Screamed Nudge, flailing for weird reason.

'Barbra Streisand!' Louise screamed (this is going to be a joke that keeps popping back up isn't it?) back and punched Mike Tyson? What?

'Where did he come from?' asked Nudge.

Louise paused and tilted her head to the side, contemplating inter-time core vortex travel between the real world, which we know of, and this story, before realizing that this is a story.

Basically, she shrugged.

And then pulled an AK-47 from nowhere.

And then Nudge screamed.

And the world goes Kablamo.

Yes. That is a word.

But then Louise gets revived and starts acting all T-Rex like and tries to eat a cupcake but can't so the world blows up again!

And again.

And again.

And I just realized Louise barely got to speak so this is now an interview.

Me: Hi!

Louise: Hi!

Me: Do you know the muffin man?

Louise: The muffin man?

Me: Yes, the muffin man.

Louise: I know the muffin man.

Me: Great, that makes two of us.

Fin…

Line. Just a Line. No special abilitie- wait a sec. It's going to have curtain powers!

Okay, so next is Tanvi VS Dylan right?

Why am I asking you?

Go away.

DON'T LOOK AT ME!


	5. Tanvi VS Dylan

Dun DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Line that has multiple personality disorder

This is why Dylan is called Dylan and not Tanvi.

'Hiya!' cried Tanvi as she got off the metro bus (not all of us can teleport)

'Peanut butter jelly time way-yeah way-yeah!' sung an obviously gay dude in front of her.

She sighed and stabbed him 7 times. Little did she know, this was her target ('cause obviously she's an assassin)

'OMG!' he shrieked. 'Why are you stabbing me?'

Tanvi took a deep breath, grew 20 storeys high and screamed into his ear, 'BECAUSE YOUR SLOWER THAN A HERD OF TURTLES STAMPEDING THROUGH PEANUT BUTTER!'

Then he died.

And came back to life.

And then you died.

But you didn't come back to life.

'Cha Cha!' screamed Tanvi as she threw Dylan up in the air, jumped up beside him, did 5 back flips, 18 front flips, 4 twirls, killed 7 pigeons by throwing death stars and stabbed him again.

'Justice always rules over evil!' cried Dylan as he landed with a belly flop into a magic jelly sauce.

Tanvi laughed evilly and punched a few more babies.

Jokes! They were kittens.

Sorry, sorry. I just fell off my chair from laughing.

'Gasp! How could you Tanvi!'Yelled Dylan, who was still alive for some reason?

'I didn't do it! Connie made me! I love kittens and babies!'Wailed Tanvi, still stabbing Dylan's severed leg.

'Oh! You poor thing-!'

But Tanvi had implanted an exploding microchip into his brain already and he died.

Then everyone else died.

Then Tanvi and I had cake. XD

Line that is a baby dressed up as a kitten that is pretending to be a pillow

I really want to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwitch right now...

Awesome.

Next is Laura VS Angel!


End file.
